Not Wanting To Be Here? The Well Of Despair & Dark Thoughts...
Have you ever found yourself at such a low point in life where it feels like you’re stuck at the bottom of a deep dark well feeling emotionally broken? Within that well there can be despair, sadness and loss, emptiness, guilt or self loathing and it’s in those moments where you are numb and depleted of the strength and will to climb out and carry on. It’s often a taboo topic to talk about the dark thoughts people have of wanting to leave this world but I am speaking about it because I have had many clients express these feelings to me over the years.
Getting out of your head and into the fresh air of nature is a gentle tonic for the soul as well as meditating, movement, mindful eating and most importantly sharing your feelings whether at first journalling and then more actively speaking to someone to help to get those thoughts out of your mind and lighten the weight of the emotions you carry. When the weight of the world is on your shoulders you CAN call upon that lifeforce energy inside you and find that one last remaining drop of strength, essence and fire within to carry on forward for one more minute and one hour and one day at a time – that’s all you need for now, not to worry about yesterday or tomorrow – only today and this moment exists. You will then begin the process of letting go and transmuting when you lovingly hold the space for yourself to express and feel.
Always speak to your human self in a loving way – whether outwardly or the internal dialogue. Putting yourself down and thinking self-loathing thoughts do not serve a purpose. Nurture your soul and allow it to breath and thrive so make yourself a promise now to ALWAYS BE KIND to yourself. Don’t full your head with thoughts that do not comfort you any longer! You wouldn’t do that to an animal and you wouldn’t do that to a friend and it’s time to give yourself the same grace.
Forgive yourself for all those old versions of you that didn’t know what you know now. You deserve that. Every minute, every day, week, month and year that unfolds ahead you are learning from your mistakes and growing more resilient, stronger and wiser than you were before. You can’t always change the past or the behaviour of people in it but you CAN dust yourself off, pick yourself back up again, start on the page you are on now and change the ending. The previous chapters need not define you any longer and worrying about the outcome of tomorrow does not deserve to take up the valuable space in your head so love yourself enough to follow up every toxic thought with a kind and helpful one. Your Higher Self resides within you and all it needs to bloom more fully is for you to no longer drown it out with negative self talk that does not serve or love the human you.
Some souls are ambitious beings and for their growth they choose experiences in life which are what I call “a high difficulty level” and because of that it feels like they are climbing a mighty Everest compared to others who are climbing only smaller mountains. When you are in the depths of struggle just know and trust that your soul wouldn’t have signed up for anything that less than you are truly capable of navigating through.
When periods of your life feel dark and full of despair it may be tempting to get lost in the spiral of those dark thoughts and reach for the escape hatch but trust in the core of your being what you are feeling now won’t be what you feel always because there is a upgraded version of yourself emerging - it’s waiting for you to become it and embody it one small brave step at a time and that journey self discovery and renewal will start today. Even if your life right now looks like a field full of weeds you must will yourself to look deeper and find that one flower growing there and focus on that and build on it.
When we die and go back to the spirit or metaphysical realm there is no concept of time there so it will feel as though we never left at all – and we will look back at our earth life (which will feel like a distant dream by then) and will wonder why we didn’t get as much juice and experience out of our earth life as possible because it helps us to evolve so much. It’s an exhilarating ride planet earth with some scary unknown turns but it also comes with comfortable parts AND amongst all the uncertainty of the unknown there is also laughter, fun and unexpected surprises too.
THERE WILL BE JOY - so don’t leave early because you will miss out on all the happy times around the corner that are yet to come. Give yourself more credit - you ARE enough! Out of all the difficult experiences you have endured so far what is your success rate at getting through life? I will tell you ….. it’s 100% because you are still here 💛
My clients Higher Self said something recently in her hypnosis session that I feel is poignant and speaks to many others - it was the message to “NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!”
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